… drill into America’s secret untapped strategic reserve of stupidity.

–Kyle Smith

Find something to get better at.

–Marcedes Lewis

The Problem Is Not The Problem. The Problem Is Your Attitude About The Problem.  –Capt. Jack Sparrow

“Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.”–Gautama Buddha

Nǐ xiǎng yào zhà shǔ tiáo ma (You want fries with that?)

–Future liberal arts majors

You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.

–Winnie the Pooh

If you can’t find a simple answer you’re not looking hard enough

–Homer Simpson

The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression.” (Proverbs 19:11)

 “The man who thinks he can and the man who thinks he can’t are both right. Which one are you?” ― Henry Ford

If it works, it’s out of date—David Bowie

If something can’t continue forever it will stop—Herbert Stein

In theory, theory and practice are the same.  In practice they’re not—Yogi Berra

• It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat.–Teddy Roosevelt

“The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.”—Vince Lombardi

Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” – Dr. Seuss.

When we accept the futility of worry, we free ourselves to enjoy.—Vic Ketchman

Yes, there is always the unexpected isn’t there? Col. Green (Bridge on the River Kwai)

I propose an increase in city income tax of 3% and a 42 cent surcharge on metro fares to fund solar charged floodlights for every “gun free zone” sign in all the boroughs.  My cousin will administer the funds, of course.  You know, for the children. —spaktor

A half-naked British man was found dead at a Spanish airport with a slice of ham on each buttock and his genitals in a can of tuna – a death authorities mused may have involved “foul play.”–The Sun

If there is any fixed star in our constitutional constellation, it is that no official, high or petty, can prescribe what shall be orthodox in politics, nationalism, religion, or other matters of opinion, or force citizens to confess by word or act their faith therein. If there are any circumstances which permit an exception, they do not now occur to us. –West Virginia State Board of Education v. Barnette (No. 591) Justice Jackson 1943.

 No matter how cynical you are about Wall Street, you aren’t cynical enough. –Jason Zweig

The financial past doesn’t repeat itself exactly, but it rhymes —Jason Zweig

Nothing but evil can come from a society bent upon coercion, the confiscation of property, and the degradation of the productive.

–Lawrence Reed

“It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it.

–Upton Sinclair

When you drink alcohol, you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.

–Confucius

The Holy See was very displeased at the settlement, with Pope Innocent X calling it “null, void, invalid, iniquitous, unjust, damnable, reprobate, inane, empty of meaning and effect for all time” in the bull Zelo Domus Dei.^[14][15]  

Teacher of the Year gave student oral sex in classroom–NY Post            

I know you don’t know the answer, but if you did what would it be –Portland city council member

There are three kinds of people: Those who are good at math, and those who aren’t.”

–Greg from Bismarck, ND

The crux of the biscuit is the apostrophe–Frank Zappa

Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius — Kill them all, God will know His own.  The Abbot of Citeaux, Arnaud Amalric

 Maybe it was dark, and the shooter couldn’t see the “gun free zone” sign. If he had, he no doubt would have gone to a police station to turn himself in.–Anonymous  

When asked about what he thinks about General Mattis being confirmed for Secretary of Defense, Rob O’Neill (the man who killed Bin Laden) said

General Mattis has a bear rug in his home; it is not dead, it is just afraid to move 

 “Do or do not, there is no try.”—-Yoda

Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens.–Steven Wright

I divide my officers into four groups. There are clever, diligent, stupid, and lazy officers. Usually two characteristics are combined. Some are clever and diligent — their place is the General Staff. The next lot are stupid and lazy — they make up 90 percent of every army and are suited to routine duties. Anyone who is both clever and lazy is qualified for the highest leadership duties, because he possesses the intellectual clarity and the composure necessary for difficult decisions. One must beware of anyone who is stupid and diligent — he must not be entrusted with any responsibility because he will always cause only mischief.

—General Kurt von Hammerstein-Equord

If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.”

— Frank Zappa

I’m enough of an artist to draw freely on my imagination, which I think is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.

—Albert Einstein

A traitor is everyone who does not agree with me.

—King George III

The object of War is not to die for your motherland but to make the other bastard die for his.”

—General George S. Patton

“If death strikes before I prove my blood, I swear I’ll kill Death.”

— Captain Manoj Kumar Pandey

Nobody knows anything–William Goldman